First of all Merry Christmas everybody! I'm on the Island Princess today and fly back to NYC tomorrow, A couple of weeks ago I was on the Celebrity Constellation cruise ship. Our first port was New Orleans. The last and only time I've been there, and I know it's hard to believe as a trombonist, was Jan 2023, as part of a destination wedding for the tuba player in Triad Brass, who married another tuba player, so it was very apropos.
I've been a lone wolf for a while. It's strange to have this much free time at this point in my life, unattached to any significant other, other than my parents who are getting up there in age. I try to get off the ship to be open to any possibility of adventure, but often find myself parked in a cafe, working on social media posts, or journaling or both. Sometimes all this time alone can be quite depressing. It's a charmed life, this artist's life, but can be very lonely at times, and i believe most of us make this sacrifice because of the sense of purpose and rapture our craft gives us. It feeds into the mania of the workaholic. You almost can't help it. Some try to numb the pain, the doubt, the isolation with their "poison" of choice. For me it's always been caffeine, sugar, or, somewhat embarrassing to admit although I feel there's a place to de-stigmatize it, watching porn and social media (I believe the two feed each other depending on who you are). Triggers are everywhere. But when you're brave enough to stay off the screen and try to engage with the world, alone as a stranger in the street, and on line for the barista, it's hard to ignore that dull pain, that's just a little more achey than your foot falling asleep, digging into your solar plexus. So there I was in New Orleans dropped off downtown by the shuttle bus at port. And I thought I was walking to the Frech Truck Coffee that was a cozy spot in the French district, but it ended up to be the one on Canal, a NOLA version of NYC's Broadway ave. And I feel myself sigh as i open my journal and laptop, figuring out what to focus on first. And then I thought to myself: "Wait a minute. I know at least a couple people down here. Not well. I'm not super close personally with anyone but I can make the effort. Maybe instead of being a loner like I am so often, I can reach out to see if anyone wants to hang out. Even if they're too busy, just make the effort. Maybe this time I'll have some fun, do something fulfilling, escape being in my own head for just a little while, and consequently feel the relief of gratitude to at least carry me into the evening when I get back on the ship."
So I Facebook messaged my Oberlin college music peer, Kevin Louis, an awesome trumpet player who grew up in nola and is a one man institution here, playing in the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, and a few other projects. And the most contact we've had really over twenty years is intermittently commenting or referencing each other over facebook. But we've always had a mutual respect as musicians and performers. The last time we saw eachother was when we were both performing at the United Nations for a Stevie Wonder ambassador concert in 2012. So aside from the occasional social media mention and flattery, and some wedding gigs we were both on in the 2000's when he lived in nyc, we've never really hung out.
But still i was like what the hell? I was surprised that he messaged me back within 15 minutes. He said he just woke up but had the day free before his gig that night. This dude was kind enough to pick me up in his car on Canal and took me to some NOLA spot to eat and then we checked out some music and talked about life and society and music in ways I never expected. I had a great freakin time. It was a great hang. And I never expected it. I just reached out, because I thought maybe I don't have to be as alone as I am or have been. People will surprise you in amazingly wonderful ways. Kevin himself said at one point, it would be strange to think the same way today as you did 10 years ago, and then the same as 10 years ago before that. It was well needed conversation that helped put things in perspective - themes of gratitude, and surrounding yourself with the right relationships. Anyways, so this is a reminder:
Right when you think you might be alone in any city or situation, and you're tired of being in your head, reach out to anyone, or not just anyone, but someone your gut says, "Hey try THAT person." But that requires opening your heart, and that can be challenging depending on your past, but when you're able it can feel like magic and divine intervention. You're never alone. Also check out the new Preservation Hall Jazz Band album Kevin's on. It's killin!
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
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